Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

To whom it may concern,   I’m only applying for this job in the hopes that you turn me down because I just want to tell people that I have been looking for ‘gainful employment’.  I would much rather gouge my own eyes out than work for you, but, if you decide I have ‘what […]

  ‘Bukkake is when multiple men love one woman and…’ Hahaha … nah – that’s not how it went down  I apparently did explain it to my chisler before but not like that.  Just so you know it was because it came up on a card in Cards Against Humanity and in the interest of honesty and openness […]

Something really weird happened the other day, possibly because it was nearly my birthday or some song triggered something in my head that made everything realign. I’m not going to say I’m ‘cured’ of self-doubt and my mental problems, but now all of sudden, they’re manageable. I mean I’m still messy – I mean I […]

  I haven’t written in a while but this has been bugging me for years.  In this blog post I will attempt to discuss how Shaggy’s 2000 hit ‘It Wasn’t Me’ is extremely problematic – not only because of its inherent misogyny, but also, and mostly, its complete lack of logic.  My point is essentially […]

If you died what would your instructions be? Rena, clear out the middle drawer in my bedroom before anyone can see and scream at my body in the church saying that bit out of My Girl ‘She can’t see without her glasses!’ Also, put googley eyes on my body in the coffin. “What is the […]

Let’s face it, you’re a bit of a train wreck at the best of times, well either that or you seem to have a cold black stone where your heart should normally be, but you hold your shit together pretty well considering most of the time. However, Christmas is coming and we all know that […]

  I want to talk about another serial thing people. Ugh GAWD, I know OK? Roll your eyes if you want or just move on – it’s fine. Nobody’s forcing you to read this but if you’re the kind of person that’s rolling your eyes at this, maybe you need to read it. Now before […]

I know nobody probably cares anyway but there are loads of things I just don’t get.  I just don’t understand and can’t get my head around.  And maybe I’m being a judgemental dick.  Who knows, eh?  Or maybe, just maybe, these are just completely alien concepts to me.  The posts have been serious and the […]

We all know that we like problematic things and that not everything is black and white.  Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if satire is proper satire or actually just punching down.  Sometimes, it seems vague enough to appeal to those on either side of the binary of good vs. evil and leaves everyone comfortable enough […]

What’s this you say?  Planning you say?  Not impulsively making rash decisions and lying in a pile of crackers in your pants on the bedrooms floor crying because you didn’t consider the consequences, you say?  Not sending incoherent angry drunk texts, you say? Not deliberately self sabotaging things or out trying to get a ride, […]