Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Random life hacks for not bursting into complete flames

July 24, 2018

1: Not everyone feels the same way you do about things – we’re all different – so don’t assume that everyone will have the same priorities as you. 2: If you’re bursting for a wee walk in backwards to the bathroom and open your trousers before you even look at the toilet to avoid your […]

What I say vs what I mean

July 3, 2018

    A few people, (men obviously) have said to me recently that women never really say what they mean. I didn’t think this was a problem specific to women. I mean I’ve met men that expect you to be able to fucking mind read. I can’t speak for any other woman but my needs […]

Words and phrases that should exist

May 16, 2018

  OK so I spend a lot of my time day dreaming.  Also,  I wanted to post something amusing for a change – or at least something that I find amusing.   Here is a list of words and phrases that I think should be used if they aren’t already: ‘Mind deaf’ When you cannot […]

Impending Doom

May 15, 2018

  Safety is a fundamental human need, yeah?  To feel secure and cosy.  Children unquestioningly have this blind faith, trust and reliance on their parents to do the right things for them – to keep them safe and protect them.  We are their role models, we need to be strong and show them not to […]

50 Reasons Why (I knew it wasn’t going to work out)

May 9, 2018

      We’ve all reached points when suddenly we know that a date or early stage relationship isn’t going to work.  Sometimes it makes sense, like seeing some red flags, and other times it can be a strange arbitrary thing – like not liking her eyeliner or laugh.  I’m not saying I’m cool or […]

If my CV was honest

May 1, 2018

To whom it may concern,   I’m only applying for this job in the hopes that you turn me down because I just want to tell people that I have been looking for ‘gainful employment’.  I would much rather gouge my own eyes out than work for you, but, if you decide I have ‘what […]

The birds and the bees – sex talks with your kids

April 24, 2018

  ‘Bukkake is when multiple men love one woman and…’ Hahaha … nah – that’s not how it went down  I apparently did explain it to my chisler before but not like that.  Just so you know it was because it came up on a card in Cards Against Humanity and in the interest of honesty and openness […]

Positive?! In a good way?!

April 16, 2018

Something really weird happened the other day, possibly because it was nearly my birthday or some song triggered something in my head that made everything realign. I’m not going to say I’m ‘cured’ of self-doubt and my mental problems, but now all of sudden, they’re manageable. I mean I’m still messy – I mean I […]

A Critical Analysis of Shaggy’s ‘It Wasn’t Me.’

March 6, 2018

  I haven’t written in a while but this has been bugging me for years.  In this blog post I will attempt to discuss how Shaggy’s 2000 hit ‘It Wasn’t Me’ is extremely problematic – not only because of its inherent misogyny, but also, and mostly, its complete lack of logic.  My point is essentially […]

Q & A: The real questions of the day….

January 29, 2018

If you died what would your instructions be? Rena, clear out the middle drawer in my bedroom before anyone can see and scream at my body in the church saying that bit out of My Girl ‘She can’t see without her glasses!’ Also, put googley eyes on my body in the coffin. “What is the […]