Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

[Please excuse the amount of selfies in this – I’m trying to demonstrate a point] When I turned 30 something crazy happened – my twenties had been wrought with insecurities surrounding how I looked, my teens even more so but suddenly I didn’t really care anymore. In fact, when I looked back on my twenties […]

Get your dude to kiss a dude. Dudes love kissing dudes to get girls off. Make them do it because it’s hot and there is nothing a dude likes better than doing something ‘hot’ to please his lady. But remember it’s only fun if it’s two guys. Girls kissing is fucking disgusting. Dick Pics Text […]

Buy slippers. Just do it. Not just one pair. Buy multiples. You need to be comfortable inside where you will be a lot of the time when you are not physically ‘adulting’. Use phrases like ‘but they are so comfy’ and even consider buying a spare set just in case you can’t reach the original. […]

When I’m not asleep I’m thinking.  When I can’t sleep it’s because I’m thinking.  It doesn’t have to be about anything in particular; it’s just the way my brain works.  So I started making lists in my head about lots of things.  The result was a pointless self indulgent list.  Years of just watching and […]

I’m not really sure if I’m a good person but I’d like to think I am.   Maybe everybody has different criteria as to what makes you ‘good’ and maybe mine are different but it seems to me that lots of people simply don’t understand the basics of being decent. I’m not saying I’m awesome – […]

Being self-aware sounds like it’d be awesome when you say it out loud. You’d think that recognising things in your head, behavioural patterns and your own tics and motivations with a highly articulate inner monologue would be the ideal way to live and sort out your life… But I’ve been thinking about it…. And meh…. […]

A little over a year ago I found a massive lump in my tit when I was in the shower shaving. It was beyond me how it had gone unrecognised considering its size so the shock that I experienced was super intense. The thought that I may possibly lose one, let alone have to undergo […]

People are mostly predictable. I’ve come to realise that over the last 32 years of watching them. Well that and reading a lot about mental health, psychology and stupid gender based self- help books (seriously just to make myself angry). When I was about five I remember deliberately deciding that I couldn’t be bothered with […]

“Don’t do it! Stay away from your potential. You’ll mess it up, it’s potential, leave it. Anyway, it’s like your bank balance – you always have a lot less than you think.” Dylan Moran (Monster)   I am not a proper grown up. Nothing about me has adult stamped on it, other than the child, […]