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Crap adult, OK human.

Caroline’s moral code

I’m not really sure if I’m a good person but I’d like to think I am.   Maybe everybody has different criteria as to what makes you ‘good’ and maybe mine are different but it seems to me that lots of people simply don’t understand the basics of being decent. I’m not saying I’m awesome – definitely not – but I think I try to consider the implications of my actions on other people. There are plenty of things that are immoral that I do, or have done, like shoplifting, which do not directly hurt an individual or group. I have a code for my own behaviour, but unfortunately because it seems like common sense I would think that everybody else would operate with something similar and that leads to disappointment as people are generally selfish fools.

So what’s my moral code eh?

Mean what you say.

98% of the time I mean what I say. I generally don’t lie or exaggerate or say manipulative things to get what I want. Do not repeat said lie. The more you say it the more real it becomes to the other person. If someone asks me something I don’t want to answer I change the subject. If you want an honest opinion about something I’ll say exactly what I think and probably won’t sugar coat it though.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Just don’t. Why would you do that? Especially if it hasn’t been provoked. Don’t through about flippant comments or suggestions to appease people – especially if you know that they are stupid things to say that you have no intention of fulfilling. I think this particularly annoys me because like the one above I am pretty clear about everything and stick to my words and promises.

Only slag people if you can take a slagging.

Even then be very careful with what you slag people about.

Avoid confrontation.

Just do. Don’t get sucked into drama and try your best not to raise your voice. Be careful and diplomatic with your language. Don’t let yourself be obviously angry. In saying that don’t be a doormat either.

Don’t shit where you eat.

If you’re going to do things (or people, heh) and it could come back to bite you in the ass, even though you technically did nothing wrong, at least do it in a way that is completely removed from your day-to-day life. Personally I think it’s a bad idea to bang people from work or who have been your friends for ages. Be careful who you tell things to and remember there are consequences for your actions.

Have empathy

Don’t shout at people or treat them like shit.   Despite my general cynical approach to people I am really patient and always give people another chance – perhaps to my detriment. Think about the possibility that what you are doing might hurt someone. I mean sometimes these things are unavoidable and unfortunate but you can deal with it delicately if you consider others. That’s not to say that you put others before yourself, which is a thing I’m only catching on to recently, but a little thoughtfulness goes a long way.

Don’t do things to get praise

Every day I do little tiny things for people that they would never recognise. I don’t want the praise. I want to be nice. It could be helping an old person with their shopping, giving up my seat on the bus or cleaning someone else’s mess. You shouldn’t do these things to get recognition – you should do them because they are the right thing to do. In saying that, it is nice to be appreciated but that shouldn’t be your goal. So maybe if you see someone doing nice things or being awesome you should tell them.

Try not to be completely self absorbed.

Do not just talk about yourself. Ask questions. Listen. Do not plod over the same narrative, over and over again. If you do you’ll notice people roll their eyes the second you open your mouth. So I talk fuck all about the things that are really bothering me because who wants to listen to that shit?

Be honest

Even if it’s harsh be honest. It’s better in the long run.

Be your own person

Do not compromise who you are to endure the company of someone who doesn’t get that you are already awesome. I’ve bitten my tongue long enough and let things go on when I was completely uncomfortable with the situation. All ended up biting me in the ass and then I felt like a fool that should’ve stood up for myself more. People have less respect for the malleable anyway so don’t lose sight of who you are and want you want.

Be clear.

If you’re clear about what you want and you see that your wishes are not being respected then you know it’s not your problem and you can deal with it whatever way you see fit.

Be polite.

Manners cost nothing, ye cunts.

Know you can always be better.

Stay humble. Because arrogant fuckers are annoying.

There. That’s it. I ran out of time.

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