Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

I got all deep the other day when I considered my 37 years on the planet and decided to answer some of the AMA questions that I had received over the last few months.  It’s not that thought provoking and totally self-indulgent but sure, it’s keeping me writing wha?

What’s the difference between beauty and hotness? 

My perception of it is a level of depth. Beautiful I think encompasses the whole person outside of the physical and hotness is just the superficial elements of things (not just physical but attractive), whereas beauty is deeper than that. Hotness is more related to lust I think and beauty is more love oriented.

Which is more difficult to accept: Genuine compliments or genuine criticism?

Genuine compliments by far. Doesn’t mean I don’t want them though.

How do prefer to be loved in terms of the various spheres e.g. emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually etc.?

Emotionally – supported in the rare instances I ask for help, actively listened to and not dismissed. Openness and building up trust. I don’t need loads of attention but I do need some quality attention where there is a complete focus on each other.

Psychologically – I think I need to be challenged somewhat to not become bored. I love a healthy debate. I like being pushed and motivated a bit. Not in a negative way though. That makes me do the opposite.

Physically – I need lots of cuddles and the more sex the better. Cuddles are more important though.

Do you believe you could become consciously aware of just how much you are loved by people around you? 

I don’t believe I have a massive impact on anybody’s life to be honest. I am mildly amusing. I have good friends and I’m happy enough.

Is who you are becoming better than who you intended to be?

It’s always a case of two steps forward, one step back in many aspects of my life. Motivation is a massive problem for me and although I try very hard I’m always tired. I think I’ve become a better person overall, having created boundaries, learning not to constantly ride rings around myself and to cut the shit out of my life, whilst attempting to be kind and stop people being arseholes to each other.

If you could sent a text to your 20 year old self, what would be 3 pieces of advice you would give her?

*save
*look after yourself before attempting to care for others
*you’re not going to ever please certain people

Would you consider yourself a Dom or sub or a switch?

Every relationship is different so I’m going to say switch as it depends on the dynamics of the individual relationship.

My partner keeps buttering the wrong side of a cream cracker. At first I thought it was ignorance, but now I think its to spite me. Be Honest. Should I leave him?

Clearly. This is a definite act of defiance.

What are your top pet peeves?

Men dismissing women with legitimate arguments as ‘women are crazy’ when men’s bad behavior is simply ignored.

Double standards and gaslighting… wowowow!
People pressing buttons on lifts and crossing lights repeatedly.

People visibly letching on people.

People telling me that being bisexual isn’t an actual thing.

Leaving my house without headphones.

People not waiting for people to get off the bus before getting on.
Why did you shit on the grass?

I have never done this but if I did I’d say it was because I could drag my ass along it like a dog afterward.

What are your views on marriage?

It’s grand for other people I suppose. I don’t like thinking about anything more than 6 months in the future so eh… yeah.

What is a typical day like for you?

Working from home it involves sitting in bed and throwing things into the bin across the room, going for a walk, coming back and reading psychology articles, getting overwhelmed by the list of things I have to do, getting distracted and ending up wanking several times, having a panic attack, realizing I haven’t eaten, reading a book, writing for several hours, making lists that I will never follow, rationalizing not going to the launderette before watching things for several hours, picking a song I like and looking up the lyrics and attempting to learn the words, paint my nails, message several people (or vice versa) and getting a maximum of 5 hours sleep.

What famous person do you find the most attractive and why? 

Aesop Rock because he is a full assed package of perfect – artistic, clever, feminist seeming lyrics without being overtly so, articulate as fuck, hardworking, hilarious, good mental health lyrics, super relatable lyrics, lovely hands and face and a bit odd.

What is the best way to get over an ex?

By getting under someone within 24 hours.

What is the best revenge you’ve got on anyone?

Wrote their phone number in toilets saying they sold excellent cocaine.
Changed someone’s message minder to say ‘I’m a Cunt’
Pissed over and in many of their things.
Got into their Facebook and wrote mad statuses.
Stole every lighter from their house.

What tips do you have for parenting?

You’re going to feel guilty no matter what you do so look after you anyway.
Make sure your child feels listened to.
It’s ok to think they’re an asshole sometimes.
Be super affectionate with your child.
Don’t pander to them too much.

How has mental illness impacted on your life? What stigma do think still exists?

People think people are still putting it on or are lazy. And people don’t want to learn about things. Some people are super dismissive of it.

I can tell you now some days I can’t leave the gaff cos I’m exhausted. I don’t trust people. I won’t let people help me generally cos I feel they’ll use it against me or that they’ll let me down. I have issues becoming attached to people (dismissive-avoidant) and if I’m upset I have some extreme coping mechanisms. However, I am self-aware enough and generally have them under control. I think it’s easier for people a lot of the time to be dismissive than bothering to consider the fact that certain things that they take fro granted are difficult for others.

How are you so confident?

I know the state of me, right?!

I’m not. I’m realistic. I’m not insecure even though I know I’m not hot but I’m clever and funny and a decent human. And I’m lucky enough that most of the time when I like another human they like me back too so I’ve not experienced a massive amount of rejection.

What are you trying to change about yourself?

I don’t like being chubby so there’s that. But I also love pints so…

What have been the best compliments that you’ve got?

That I was brave. Or someone said they were proud of me. Or that I included everyone and never let people feel left out.

The weirdest one was during sex that a dude said ‘you’re so muscley’ about my bits. I mean I laughed but the vagina exercises have definitely worked 😂

Favourite smells

Cut grass
Sweat from someone I’m attracted to
Karma from Lush
Bubblegum

Name some stuff you’re grateful for

My kid

My peeps

Having somewhere to live (it might be small and expensive but I’ve made it my own)

My glorious glorious hair

The ability to see the bigger picture

Cheese