Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

45 minute fart….



She was lying on the sofa in a half asleep daze when he finally returned.  Her eyes flickered open in the darkness as she heard him shuffle around aimlessly and she wiped a sticky stream of drool from the corner of her mouth.  Small streams of yellow light punctured through the gaps in the curtains catching tiny particles of dust in the air.  The figure in the hall bounced slightly against the wall before entering the room she was in.  She pulled herself up slowly and yawned. 

‘I tried calling you’ she muttered rubbing her eyes. ‘You OK? Where were you?’

He paused at the door and swayed slightly.  Then it bypassed her and sat down at the computer opposite the sofa, back to her.

‘It was a bit of a mad night’ he said simply, turning the computer on, back still turned away from her.

She sighed.

‘I have to leave soon’ she said scrambling up.

No response.  He still didn’t turn around. 

There was a strange sensation in the air.  Her words could mean anything now.  His words could mean anything.  Anything was potentially a viable outcome.  The right combination of words could give her all the information without asking any direct questions.

Careful now…Careful…

‘Who were you out with?’ she asked, ensuring to keep her voice friendly.

His shoulders tensed ever so slightly and he momentarily stopped typing.  Not a massive gesture, very minute , very subtle but there.

‘Ah the usual, y’know’ he replied.

There were bubbles popping in her tummy. Starting in the pit and fluttering upwards.  Her breathe felt like glass. 

She stood up and moved behind him, slowly throwing her arms around his neck, in a weak hug.  The smell of smoke and drink filled her nostrils and something else…. Something earthy and dirty and stale… He tensed again and she pressed her mouth against his warm ear.

‘Straight into the arms of another woman?’ she whispered and laughed gently.

He stiffened even more and turned his head towards her his eyes opening marginally wider than usual. 

‘What?!’ he asked, shocked.

She pulled away and laughed.

‘I know that’s not what happened’ she smirked and walked off laughing.

But that’s what it was.  That was the nagging feeling in her gut.

Stupid stupid stupid…

She gathered her things fighting the panic, maintaining some level of dignity.  Time away to regroup.  She pulled her stuff as awkwardly as possible across the room and stood at the door staring at him.  He didn’t look around, still busy clicking away at the pointless shite he always looked at online.

‘OK I’m off’ she said, rubbing her face, waiting for some kind of reaction to prove her wrong.

Suddenly he stood up and sheepishly approached her.  He put his arms around her.

‘I love you’ he said firmly and leaned down to kiss her on the mouth.

She twisted her face so his mouth, that filthy lying mouth, got her cheek instead.  She pulled away and stared directly into his eyes.  The expression of his face was both one of guilt and confusion.

‘Yeah, right’ she said and left dragging her bag behind her.

She walked down the end of the garden and pulled out her phone and sent him a text:

I know what you did but it doesn’t matter because I don’t want to do this anymore anyway.  Fuck you though.

The bubbles had disappeared.  Anger had taken over.

Stupid lying bastard.  Dudes are shit.  Time to get me a girlfriend?

He never replied.


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