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Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

Why being a woman can be shit (not safe for work)

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Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve run out of smokes and have no money until tomorrow (in which case drop up with smokes and I’ll be your best friend) but I’m pretty cranky today.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been up since 7 and running around like a lunatic, like most people, wading the endless pile of shit that you have to do to extend this mediocre existence.  I thought about this for a while and then realised it was because of what I’ve been reading, and become more aware of, because of my PhD.  Once you see this shit, you can’t unsee it.

Sometimes I really hate being a woman.  Most of the time I don’t… I mean in fairness the potential for multiple orgasms and having a safe storage place in your bra alone should sell it BUT I get so frustrated with the entire hypocritical system that I get very wound up and sometimes wish I didn’t have a vagina and a delightful set of funbags.  Now, that’s not to say that if you have a penis you should feel bad.  You should enjoy your penis as you probably have been all along, but there is no point in countering any of these arguments with ‘but men have it bad too.’  Sssshhhh…. You don’t.  Whilst you may have it bad, and I can accept that, the way each gender is viewed and treated is not really comparable.  This is not an attack on you exactly.  It’s an attack on patriarchy.  You might think that you are not participating in it but you probably are.  Even women do.

These are a few examples of why it’s shit to be a woman aside from the fact that our biggest values are set as mothers and whores.  We are supposed to be either self sacrificing martyrs or beautiful sexy womenz where our value comes inherently from our appearance.  And seriously, don’t ever bother telling me that you don’t care what people look like when they’re clever.  I know I’m smart but thanks for the insult.

Slut shaming:

Slept with more than a handful of people?

Apparently men can sleep with as many people as they want and be labelled a ‘stud’ but women are meant to be demure and passive and fuck all else. I didn’t think this attitude still existed but I’ve overheard enough recent conversations to know that it does.  What does it really matter how many people someone has slept with?  Is it because your fragile ego can’t handle the thought that your sex skillz have a basis of comparison?  And if a girl has slept with a fair few people, sure she can always be raped, because promiscuity discounts rape because there’s no purity to steal.  I’ve heard from several dudes as well that they would never consider a relationship with someone who slept with them on the first date/night out or whatever.  Why?  Because they were too easy. 

Got your photo posted on the internet sucking someone’s knob in public? 

Poor Slane girl.  Classy as fuck but whilst she was getting a severe slagging and her life ruined the cocks involved were celebrated as legends.  Not to mention how drunk and young and vulnerable she obviously was.  Scumbags.

Danced semi-naked next to a singer (who essentially sings about rape) and receive a crazy amount of media backlash?

Mylie Cyrus is a fucking idiot.  There can be no denying that.  She thinks what she is doing is in the name of feminism and obviously mocking the mental health of Sinead O’Connor was mean and showed her ignorance BUT for all the negativity directed towards her, I bet 95% of men that slagged her off would still have sex with her.  Dressed up like a ‘slut’, good enough for a ride, still attractive and sexual enough but still a complete sap you can slag off after.

Well look no further than modern western media.  Jesus Christ.  Double standards ahoy there with every single thing there. 

I am fed up of men telling women that men have higher sex drives than us.  No, I disagree.  Not in every case obviously but there is no point trying to make a sweeping statement about it.  They are different.  There is no denying that but to assume that sex is more important to men, or that women need emotion to go with sex, is the most stupid statement ever. 

Porn:

Whilst I really have no immediate problems with porn there are a few unsettling elements to it.  I mean I see its ‘purpose’, accept it will be around and have ‘studied’ it and its purpose quite a lot.  Then I think about the following which I won’t expand on because I think they are self explanatory and feel uneasy/pissed off:

1: It is mostly boring and the same thing pretty much over and over again. 

OH I LOVE WAITING FOR YOU TO EJACULATE ONTO MY FACE.  I HOPE IT GETS UP MY NOSE AND IN MY EYES.

SURPRISE I CAME ON YOUR FACE! 

OH NO HANG ON I’LL COME ON YOUR TITS. 

2: My kid will probably see porn before he gets to see a naked woman (or man).  When he sees a naked woman he will be surprised.  He will also be surprised as to what really happens during sexy times.

3: There isn’t a whole bunch of decent stuff directed towards women.  I’m not talking about storylines, or soft focus or class.  I’m talking about stuff where the women don’t all look the same, aren’t all getting rode the same way, don’t look sad or where it’s not completely constructed for male viewing pleasure.  Don’t get me wrong – I found good stuff but there’s feck all of it.  And male porn stars for the most part are gross.  Like seriously gross.

4: That it may raise expectations for what is an acceptable level of expectations in the bedroom i.e, deep throating or anal sex. Also no clear indication in the majority of porn that I’ve seen would give anybody any idea as to what would really be pleasurable for a woman or how they actually orgasm (unless they’re squirting of course) Tut tut tut.

Rape culture:

We live in a rape culture. I’m not saying every man is a rapist, but potentially they are.  Girls are blamed for what they wear, how they act and how they choose to get home after a night out.  I have had a conversation with my child already that consent is required.  Nobody really talks to men or boys about the need to get consent.  It’s not drilled into boys the way it is to little girls to ‘stay safe.’ I have already told him that if someone isn’t really awake or sober that that doesn’t count as consent.  I have told him that there should be no doubt in his mind that there is consent involved.  These are things that should be a given but if they are never said they can never be upheld.  Blaming victims by picking one or two examples of when women lied (ruiners) about being raped means that potentially anyone can get away with the responsibility of the crime.  Rape fucks up the victim more than anyone who has not been raped cannot understand and to diminish it as a proper assault is ludicrous.  With so little being reported for women is it any wonder that male rape is nowhere near being taken seriously?

How come it is OK for men to intimidate women with sexual gestures, crude language and we are just expected to laugh it off?  What gives someone the right to come up to me at a bar and start rubbing off me?  Or make me feel uncomfortable in work?  How can I laugh it off when physically they could potentially overpower me at any moment and by making me feel uneasy they are simply trying to assert some dominance.  When you get pissed off then it simply means that you have no sense of humour.  BECAUSE IT’S SO FUNNY!

I just want to say that I do loves the menz.  They’re great.  They even come with their own little coin purses between their legs.  Hahahaha!  Ah no seriously though, I don’t hate men.  This isn’t about hating anybody – it’s about pointing out shit things that we all do and hopefully recognising them and learning.  I have another half to add to this list but I think  I will wait until next time and do a separate one because this could take alllllll night.

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