Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

 

For no reason here is an arty picture of my face.

Thought I’d be super lazy and just put up a bit of a story I’ve been working on instead of doing my thesis.  Guess what happens….

Milk

Jane had been in the room for a solid week when the noises started.  The screaming and the drilling and the groaning resonated throughout the wood floor apartment.  Sometimes pounding, sometimes the noise of a sanding belt.  Occasionally we could hear the patter of her feral sounding feet manically running around her small room but when we knocked she never answered.

It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment when things had started to go sour for her.  It had been such a gradual thing.  The three of us had lived together for three years now and were pretty close but something unknown had edged Jane away from us.  She had changed from a happy person to a stranger over a matter of six months.  Nothing was ever said but we could see it happen before it did.  Perhaps, it was her dropping out of college, perhaps it was her losing her job or perhaps it was her breaking up with her boyfriend that pushed her over into another plane.  Maybe it was a combination of that list of unfortunate events that changed her ability to deal with those around her.

‘What should we do?’

Lainey was worried.  You could see it in her face.  Her eyes wide and shiny, dark circles slowly starting to form underneath, but it took her days to say anything to me.  We both looked solemnly at each other constantly never knowing what to say, never knowing exactly what awaited us behind the door of Jane’s room.

I started to worry when we could hear porn constantly blaring from her room.  The over exaggerated exclamations of a woman paid to act that getting it in the ass from three men was the best thing since sliced bread.  The painful sounding pleas of women asking men to ejaculate on their faces or shit on them.  The grunts of men calling women sluts.  To be honest, it wasn’t really the content that bothered me… it was more the volume and the way that it was on all the time.  I wondered what she was doing in there.  Surely she could not be masturbating 24 hours a day?  What was she up to…?

At this point she was still coming out of her room and seemed coherent enough, albeit most of the time wearing her pyjamas.  She would come out and watch TV with us, make a microwave meal and crack an odd joke, all the while the distorted moans echoing out of her room.

‘What are you doing in there?’ Lainey asked cocking an eyebrow. ‘Trying to figure out some new things?’

‘I’m watching porn’ Jane smirked.  ‘I was just wondering what people get off on.’

‘Are you not sore?’ I joked.

Jane didn’t smile.

‘Why would I be?’ she asked completely innocently.  ‘I’m just wondering before I get back on the horse.’

We all nodded acknowledgement at this. 

‘Can you do us a favour though?’ I ask cocking my head slightly and smiling.

‘What?’

‘Can you lower it down a bit?  We probably sound like we have a brothel up here…’

I think that this was the last time that we all laughed together.

 

Eventually myself and Lainey had reached an unspoken agreement to barge in and pull her out.  It had reached that point.  The neighbours were starting to complain about the drilling and we were worried.  We stood at the door together both eyeing the other nervously.  Neither of us had slept in days, particularly when we heard the barricade go up.

‘Jane?!!’ I ask banging on the door  ‘Open the door!  Open this door now.  This crap has gone on long enough!’

I try to push on the door.  There is a tiny amount of give but I can feel that she has nailed things across the frame.  I roll my eyes and throw my shoulder into it.

‘Please Jane’ Lainey implores. ‘We’re worried.  What the fuck are you doing in there?’

‘GO AWAY!’ Jane shouts suddenly.

‘But the neighbours…’ Lainey begs.

‘Fuck the neighbours!’ her muffled shout retorts.

 

After the pornography conversation Jane began to leave the house again.  She would leave in the evening, all dressed up, her big boobs on show and not be seen again until lunch time the next day.  We suspect that she was bringing men home, men that she wouldn’t allow us to see, but it was hard to tell what was porn playing or what was really happening.  At some point there definitely were men in her room.  Lainey told me that she heard a very loud noise come from Jane’s room that could only have been made by a man giving it some gusto to a girl.

One night I found Jane in the kitchen standing in front of the open fridge.  Her hair was mangled and her cheeks streaked with mascara but she wasn’t crying.  She was just staring emptily into the fridge.

I touch her shoulder and she doesn’t move.

‘I started wearing a bra when I was ten’ she mumbled not looking at me.  ‘I always had big boobs.  They never stopped growing.  When the boobs came so did the boys I guess.  Not that that was really important to me.  I used to get groped all the time in school and attacked by the other girls who were jealous.  I didn’t want them….’

She reached into the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk.  She opened it and drank from it.

A strange dry laugh flitted out of her throat for a second.

‘My mother used to always say ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.’’

She plodded off to her room carrying the carton.

I heard some muffled voices from her room and the door slammed shut.

I knew we had trouble right then and there.