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Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

This Girl Wrote About Vaginas Online: What Happens Next Will Shock You.

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I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  I think maybe most of us do.  Thoughts that we would’ve let go into the ether can be shared with all the people that we deem loosely to be ‘friends’ on the internet.  On nights out when I have the app installed on my phone I have to make sure that my statuses are made available to ‘only me’ in case I decide to write something drunk that makes no sense.  This happens more often than I’d care to admit.

I think the positives, (before I get into them) far outweigh the negative aspects of social media, however.  You can talk to your friends in Japan, share events and use it for publicity for your own little self-indulgent blog, share ideas and have a nice open exchange of ideas (although this is getting rarer).  You can reconnect with people that you have no seen in years and continue your friendship from where you left off.  You can feel that you are in some way included in people’s everyday lives and see what that kid that you will never go to see looks like.  You can see what people are doing on their holidays and you can get an idea on peoples’ political views.  In many ways, the online persona, can add a bit of depth to your character, or at least present viewpoints that you weren’t aware that they held before, or a hobby that you never knew they had.  You can go to specific groups, secret or otherwise, for a whole range of support, education and motivation.  You can look for jobs, make videos for people who are abroad, or far away, on their birthdays or just communicate for free with friends when you’ve run out of credit.  The positive possibilities are endless.

 

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Despite this there is a ridiculous number of contemporary artists out there painting pictures of hordes of zombies staring down at their phones or in some pseudo pretentious way trying to show that girls’ self-esteem is based on the amount of ‘likes’ a selfie gets.  The bang of self-righteousness off them is unreal, coupled with the fact that not only are these unoriginal ideas, but also the irony that these images are shared on social media itself.  Fuck that noise!

In the past, social media has made me paranoid about relationships – rightfully so, as well, because people aren’t even stupid enough to cover their tracks properly.  It has also shown me that I am gradually growing apart from older friendships as they go on nights out without me, or have pictures of themselves up at events where I was never invited. That’s not to say that I’m bitter or anything but in many ways, it’s concrete proof, visual confirmation, of what you already know.  That clearly doesn’t make it easier to swallow.  In many ways, the ability to sleuth around on the internet and spy on people you are no longer connected to makes it more difficult to get over things – because there you go, clicking on your ex’s page, seeing them all happy with a new person, and it just reopens old wounds (not that I do this, because I’m on good terms with most of them) or seeing some arsehole you used to know doing well at life.   I mean, there is a certain amount to relish, when you see the opposite as well, and that person you dislike isn’t doing well, and maybe that’s what you were hoping to find on their Facebook page anyway.  People you were meant to drift away from are still always there in the background, reminding you of the life they are living that you are no longer a part of and you have to wonder, whether still ‘friends’ online with them or not whether this is actually healthy.  Sometimes, coupled with ‘friends’ successes you might feel left behind, not only by them, but because your life sucks in comparison. Perhaps, I’m an over-sharer, but fuck it, I’m sure most of us have felt like this at some point, even if you only rarely log in.

I can understand that people perhaps think I am constantly on the internet with nothing better to do, but considering most of my time is spent in front of computer, either for work or pleasure (in every way that you could interpret that), it shouldn’t really surprise people that I am here.  I often hear people talk about people saying ‘oh they post too much’ and admittedly I’ve thought that too, because if I’m honest I don’t care about pictures of dogs, or your lunch, but still I never really judge about it.  If I don’t like someone’s posts I don’t follow them.  Simple as.  And I don’t make a judgement about a person based on things as arbitrary as whether they love their dog or are super enthusiastic about sharing music videos – I just them on their opinions and their treatment of other people.  I personally have quite often felt that I have been having a one-way conversation with people in real life, where people just go on rants in my direction, never ask me questions or actually listen anyway so over the years of using Facebook I began to gradually subconsciously use it as a platform to converse, because I was sick of people making assumptions about me without them ever actually hearing the words I was saying, which also contributed to the blog becoming a thing.  It’s not that I think that I have anything very unusual or interesting to say, but it’s nice to leave the ideas hanging out there, and potentially show people other aspects to my personality, other than the woman half locked singing Charles and Eddie in the pub on a Friday night.

One thing I don’t understand, and probably will never get right, is the collecting of ‘friends’.  Now I’m well aware that many people have vast numbers of ‘friends’ because they have travelled, or work in a certain industry that requires networking, but to be honest how does anyone have more than 1,000 people on their list?  I’m not being a dick, but seriously…  To be honest, it screams to me of a creepy dude, just adding randos so he can request nudes, throwing out friend requests to attractive girls that he may have said ‘hello’ to once.  It’s quality not quantity dudes – not fucking Pokémon.  I suppose it depends on the level of information that you share online as well, but personally I would not feel comfortable with more than 500 friends on my page at any time and I regularly clear them out, because if I’m being realistic here, do I really even know 500 people? And I like to share things, not to be an edgelord or controversial, but to potentially make people laugh or present a different perspective.  I think my Facebook persona is actually a pretty accurate representation of who I am, and it’s not something I could be arsed sharing with everyone.  I’m more confident and articulate online but in real life I’m shyer and overwhelmed with anxiety a lot of the time, but these still are my thoughts, peculated and condensed, in an easy- to-read version of my busy busy brain and perhaps, not everyone deserves to see this.  Some of my ‘friends’ I have never met in real life, like my American pen pal or some lovely ladies that I’m friends with from groups, but I keep them because we interact and I find their posts engaging, and these are all part of a network of people that have helped me form my own opinions and live perfectly well without leaving the house.

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I’ve been deleted in the past, as we all have, but I really don’t know whether or not I should, unless someone ignores me in the street or actively pisses me off in real life.  I remember the time, on my business page, that I made a joke about selfie sticks and vaginas, and all hell broke loose.  You’d swear people never heard the word before, let alone from a girl and a few people were up-in-arms about my vulgar choice of humour.  I was called a slut, had horrible memes put on my page saying ‘your parents must be very proud’ and men were called on by conservative women to ‘talk some sense into me’ because it was so ‘unladylike.’  Personally, I thought the joke was hilarious, did a lot of banning on my Facebook writing page and tutted, but I know it caused people to delete me.  Your own level of what is appropriate or not is up to you, but I’m not hurting anyone or being mean, and there’s no one way that a girl, particularly one who doesn’t care what some rando thinks as to what constitutes what a woman should say, think or do, so scroll on if you hate it because I’m not going to stop writing and posting and doing my thing, regardless of your superficial online confidence to tear people (particularly women) down online.

 

 

 

 

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One Response to “This Girl Wrote About Vaginas Online: What Happens Next Will Shock You.”

  1. […] you like my writing and all that jazz, you can buy a book of my musings here:  https://www.createspace.com/6970024 or here: https://www.amazon.com/Fahckmylife-Little-Book-Fahck/dp/1544185367.  Not only will you […]


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