Fahckmylife's Blog
Crap adult, OK human.

10 ways to make money and f?@k with capitalism at the same time

Apparently, the recession is over and we’re all supposed to be temporarily ok?  Well at least for the moment, right?  And it’s not like rent is super expensive either so we should be OK!  Capitalism totally works – sure work is there for everyone who needs it.

(In case you didn’t notice that was sarcasm – and hopefully explaining it didn’t take away from the joke).

There are little things you can do to help your survival, while in some cases, messing around on a tiny scale with capitalism.


Online surveys

Market research is the bastion of capitalism and I say this after working in market research for about eight years.  The biggest demographics that market researchers want to speak to are males aged 18-34 and, to a lesser extent, males aged 35-49, as they are firstly the most difficult to get to complete research and also the groups with the biggest spending power.

There are many online survey companies at the moment that offer compensation in the form of vouchers or points for filling out some forms about the cornflakes you eat and what TV service provider you use.  These are all legitimate and valid but it can be frustrating when you get knocked out of a survey when they discover you are not in that age group.  And also… fuck capitalism.

So how can you work with this, especially if you are not in those groups?

Simply set up dummy accounts named after your male friend/family member and be nearly guaranteed to get to the end of that survey that will give you a fiver voucher.  And how does that fuck with capitalism?  Well, if you’re not a dude in that age group you’re not answering as one, and, well, if you are you can always tell them you don’t use any toilet roll and completely skew their results.


Letters of complaint

Remember when you’d get a Club Milk that was pure chocolate?  I’d eat most of it and send it back with a letter of complaint and then get a whole pack of more Club Milks back in the post.  To be honest, I loved the pure chocolate Club Milks and I’m sure Jacobs isn’t a super shit company to work for.

However, I had a friend who worked nights in a semi-boring job and all he did was write random letters of complaint to various companies, using a friend’s posh address as his.  He got loads of free stuff.

Also, write letters of complaint to businesses where you see staff being treated like shit by managers, saying you don’t want to be their customer anymore and see where that gets you.

Try that with unethical brands.  Just try it.  It’s worked for me with brands I won’t mention here, even when in all honesty, I thought it was a genuine concern that I figured out afterward was actually my fault.  Seriously, cost those big companies some postage and packing and some of their products and laugh.  Fucking fools!  Now I have free cereal.



If you are brave you can cam and show your arsehole for tips (which will be tax-free) on a variety of sites.   Or  you can bang your other half for a few quid online as couples tend to get more.

You can do Instagram and private Snapchat things for paying customers, sell nudes and even knickers if you look hard enough, or even go through adult friend finder, especially if you’ll be offering some niche services.  The thing is, nobody needs to know, and money can be hidden in your paypal.

Just make sure you don’t end up accidentally being fap fodder for a family member (just because Ireland is so small).


Selling old stuff online

Getting rid of stuff out of your house can be a pain in the arse.  After hauling a bag of books, DVDS, games or CDs into town and finding out that the super shitty business won’t even pay you enough to cover our busfare you probably will want to scream.

Instead, use an app like Zifit to scan the barcodes on your books.  They might not offer much but if you have enough they will collect them and then throw the money into your paypal account.  The prices they offer can be quite low but they are much more ethical in that they physically collect them for you and still offer more money than many of the second-hand book shops in town.

If you find some of your items are actually worth a little bit – sit on them and explore other ways to sell them, like on Ebay or Done Deal.


Start your own business grants

I think one of the biggest ways to fuck capitalism is to start your own business with ethical ideals from the start.  But did you know that there are supports there for you if you want to?

If you are either casually employed or long term unemployed you can get support from the social welfare to start your own business or trade.  Once you can prove it is feasible with a business plan, you will be mentored and provided with grants, which you could use to your advantage and create something really special.


Buy second-hand things

You don’t need to buy new things all the time.  Second hand stuff can be just as good and takes a bit of money away from the whole ‘fast fashion’ element.  Although, I see nothing wrong with buying from Pennys if you’re broke it can be good to recycle.

You can also buy cool things second-hand in charity shops that you can resell for a profit at markets.  So you’ve helped a charity and yourself – win, win.


Share and support smaller businesses

If your friend starts a business, support the shit out of them (well only if you think it’s good, like).  If you can’t buy from them, share their posts and comment on them as Facebook makes organic advertising very difficult unless you are willing to dish out some dough.

Bear in mind smaller businesses may charge more for their products that a large chain but, in more cases than not, these businesses look after their staff better.



Points cards 

Get points cards for everything.  We all know that these cards store purchasing information so as to profile you.  Fuck with that.  Swap cards with different people to fuck with their information.  Hang around at the self-service check-outs and pick up left behind receipts and put them on your card.  Yeah, you bought an industrial-sized tin of paint.  Fuck them.  And then you get more points too.



Swap shit with your friends and leave money out altogether.

Also, do not work for free for businesses!  You do work experience in college and school – never again.  Perhaps, trade skills with friends but do not get ripped off!


Get your friends to get you cheaper tobacco when they go abroad.

Fuck paying full price for tobacco.


If all else fails, if you’re clever and safe enough become a sugar baby, and laugh at the stupid rich men that want to waste their money on you for the sake of companionship… because I mean that it an actual definition of fucking capitalism, wha?



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